Emotions and their Function
Emotions have functions and come in different intensities.
Emotions and their Function
Emotions come in different intensities. For example, something starting as frustration may end up as sadness. Knowing there is still hope with frustration, but with sadness, there is no hope, gives way to an appropriate emotional reaction.
Frustration
The emotion you get when you don't get what you want. I know that sounds slightly familiar. That description matches my favourite line: "If you do what you always do, you get what you always get." If you don't get what you want, more than likely you are frustrated or, worse, anxious.
In other words, you are not getting the kind of outcome you wanted and expected, but you keep hoping and as there is still the possibility of achieving your outcome, this hope keeps you doing what you are doing. Therefore, frustration can be a motivator for you to consider alternative actions.
The positive function of frustration is motivation and energy to keep doing whatever you are doing or to change some aspects for a more effective course of action. With anything worth pursuing, the emotion of frustration may be a valuable asset.
Would you ever have thought that frustration could be a valuable aid to help you in whatever you are doing?
The keyword for positive frustration to work is 'hope'. If, however, there is no possibility of getting what you want to get, frustration would be genuinely frustrating and hence the wrong emotion to choose!
Therefore, the negative function of frustration is to feel frustrated when there is no hope left. In this instance, frustration becomes a negative emotion. You are stuck in frustration - you get what you always get, and you don't like it a bit. It's time to change!
You could choose a more appropriate emotion to change, one step up in the scale of suitable emotions. That emotion is disappointment, and it will stop frustration instantly and free you from your stuck position.
Disappointment
The possibility of getting what you want is over, and the correct response is to recognise that it is over and let it go. Knowing it is definitely over, finished, with no hope left, there is no longer a need for frustration. Feel disappointed and move on.
The positive function of disappointment is acceptance, which lets you move on to more productive thoughts or actions. It may not feel good at the time, but it usually gives you an invigorated feeling the next day. You will notice your newly- achieved freedom and feel the satisfaction of making a decision.
The negative function is to misuse disappointment by stopping something you should have pursued. You have given up for all the wrong reasons, which leaves you with a bitter taste and compromised self-esteem, feeling you have failed, which could be another reason for ongoing anxiety.
This is a situation to pick up frustration as the appropriate emotion.
Sadness
Sadness is one up on disappointment, and its function applies when something is over or has changed, and the situation has to be accepted.
With sadness, something significant changed or has come to an end. It is a deeper personal feeling than disappointment.
The positive function is to help you to overcome a major change in your life. It is an important emotion, especially in the case of the death of a loved one, where without sadness and grief, life, as it used to be, cannot go on.
Both sadness and grief are undoubtedly essential in coming to terms with such a significant change.
The negative function is to confuse sadness with self-pity, as an overreaction to minor changes, or to be stuck in sadness, using it not to do anything else or as an excuse not to go on with life. That would indicate a victim mentality.
Excerpt from “Chaos in Brainland” - A Guide for Creating a Stress and Anxiety Free Zone