Living happily ever after?

Five aspects of a Holistic Relationship

Everything on this planet and within our society revolves around relationships: good ones, bad ones, not having one, seeking one, or even not wanting one.

When was the last time you read a fairy tale, and did it end in; “And they lived happily ever after”? Was that a promise, a hope or a denial?

Can we deliver what fairytales promise us?

It sounds like Utopia, doesn’t it?

Can Holistic Philosophies have the answers?

Thinking Holistically is all about expanding awareness. A Partnership is not just about survival and getting through those petty arguments; it’s about something more significant. Concentrating on the larger picture may disperse the importance of the arguments.

For anyone in a relationship or seeking one, applying holistic thinking recognizes that one is only half of a partnership in quest of the other half. The saying “My other half” is not just an empty phrase.

In the case of a holistic relationship, the whole package means two people sharing their individual knowledge to create one wholesome and fantastic team.

We all know the usual relationship breakdown clichés, such as nagging, constant arguments or fighting, accusing each other of any possible misbehaviour, point scoring, and belittling. Unfortunately, sometimes it escalates into violence.

Luckily, there are plenty of happy relationships; even so, happiness often seems to go unnoticed, overshadowed by a society hooked on “drama”.

The Five Aspects of a Holistic Relationship

1. EQUALITY:

If each person is one half of a relationship, for that team to work, each partner must be absolutely equal. No one would be more or less important. If anyone seeks to be the boss, the likelihood of the relationship destructing is significantly increased.

Having established equality and everyone being aware and comfortable about it, one can move on; the first obstacle to a happy relationship has been overcome.

2. REALITY: Accepting each other’s “reality” is next in line.

Equality stands for Value, not for being the same. We are all different, coming from different backgrounds with different personal realities. However, most arguments start with minor disagreements about something, quite often a conflict about who is right, which further develops into a typical point-scoring exercise. Avoiding a lot of pointless arguments undoubtedly would improve relationships.

Thinking holistically, we would know that we all have and live in different realities. We live in realities we have been born into and manifested in our minds over many years, being subjected to ideologies within each person’s society.

Partners obviously will have different perspectives on many subjects.

Awareness of that will help couples to argue less, accept more, or at least have fun arguing.

We all have different perspectives, yet we still argue rather than discuss why we have differences. Getting to know one another helps create a unique relationship, not set on inherited patterns, always sharing and growing perspectives together to improve the well-being of the whole.

After all, trying to be right only shows one’s insecurity.

In most instances, arguing is worthless and destructive, whereas sharing and discussing is constructive.

Not accepting the partner’s realities or insisting that your reality is the only true one will lead to a breakdown in the relationship.

3. COMMUNICATION: Planning a holistic Lifestyle.

Instead of arguing, try communication; it really works.

In a holistic relationship, great conversation surpasses most typical day-to-day topics. Honest, holistic communication is about the new holistic you, the couple, and the new frontiers a couple would like to open up to. It is communication about life and lifestyle.

Most normal day-to-day communication is reactive to situations, such as not having enough money, job problems, what’s for dinner, etc. In contrast, holistic communication is about creating your reality and your desired lifestyle, and what each of you wants to achieve in addition to what you want to accomplish as a couple by drawing on each other’s talents and knowledge, something to get excited about.

What life do you want to live? What lifestyle would you like to adopt? What would you like to achieve as a couple?

And going even further, how can you support each other to fulfil each individual’s aspiration?

4. SYNERGY: A holistic relationship is all about Synergy.

Synergy is when the sum of the individual parts is larger than the sum of the individual parts.

Synergy is best expressed as an equation: 1 plus 1 equals 2.

But, in a synergistic equation, 1 plus 1 equals 5, or 7, or even more.

In a good working relationship, you can achieve things you wouldn’t have accomplished by yourself.

This is possible because your partner, to quote from a movie, may have said, “You make me complete”.

The opposite of Synergy is a bad relationship, which again can be expressed as an equation: 1 minus 1 equals 0. Each partner fights the other, and in the end, nothing is left.

Work on your Synergy, beats arguing anytime.

5. LOVE & TRUST:

All of the above will not work without trust, and I just noticed that I haven’t even mentioned love, which I took for granted.

Someone has to start trusting. There is no choice; loving and supporting your partner adds trust to the equation. The trust needs to be selfless, without constantly checking if you get equal trust, love and support back.

Unconditioned trust and love are always holistic, considering every aspect of one’s life.

Good Luck :-)

Cheers, Dieter Luske - News in Brainland